The difficult truth about male victims of domestic violence

For the longest time, the popular view within society is that domestic violence is something that men almost exclusively commit against women. Indeed, even though for the past 20 years multiple peer reviewed studies have shown that domestic violence is actually committed equally between male and female partners, the stubborn belief that women cannot be violent towards their spouse/boyfriend persists. Certainly, this is the view that most feminist groups have held steadfast to, and even to this day legislation which these groups lobby so hard for, continues to be enacted that endorses this false singular paradigm of male perpetrator / female victim.

Despite all evidence to the contrary, the shamming, disbelief, mocking and marginalization of male victims of domestic violence can be found, and almost celebrated, seemingly everywhere. For instance, here are a few quotes from a random internet forum (Mugen Fighters Guild Forum) who were discussing a previous post of mine:

"While I think the subject of abused men is laughable, young boys aren't. They are as vulnerable as small girls and deserve the same protection under the law."
....
"Because it has the gall to suggest that men are being abused by women. There's nothing I hate more than when the powerful pretend that they're being persecuted."
.....
"also some men are abused by woman. Yes, they are a ridiculous small % compared to women, and everyone that claims they are on the same level is crazy and probably misogynist, but they exist."

These kind of beliefs are all to pervassive in our society today. The Duluth Model, a very popular feminist 'go-to' study on domestic violence, and one which is used often in forming governmental policies, minimalizes and marginalizes men who are victims of domestic violence, calling their experience trivial:

"Do women use violence as often as men in intimate relationships?

When women use violence in an intimate relationship, the circumstances of that violence tends to differ from when men use violence. Men's use of violence against women is learned and reinforced through many social, cultural and institutional experiences. Women’s use of violence does not have the same kind of societal support. Many women who do use violence against their male partners are being battered. Their violence is used primarily to respond to and resist the violence used against them. On the societal level, women’s violence against men has a trivial effect on men compared to the devastating effect of men’s violence against women."

Even in Australia's National Plan to Reduce Violence against Women and their children, they talk about the need to stop arresting women for domestic violence, since they believe, just as the Duluth Model states, women are almost always acting in self-defense. One of the studies which the Australian Plan often cites is a survey of women who had been arrested for domestic violence and were facing criminal charges, in which asked if they had acted in self-defense.

Women, just as much as men, are capable of perpetrating violence towards their partners and towards men in general. *Warning graphic videos*

 

Until society can start to accept that men can be victims of violence from women, and that the suffering they feel is no less painful, nothing will change. It's a dehumanizing view of domestic violence, and one in which ownership of one's actions and the sympathy for one's suffering is judged solely by the genitalia of the people involved.

The Reformed Buddhist's website:

http://www.thereformedbuddhist.com/

I encourage you to visit and subscribe to his site. Amazing work being done by him there.

Link to this article:

http://www.thereformedbuddhist.com/2012/01/difficult-truth-about-ma...

Dan